Life missing my forever baby Julian

This is a blog to voice my feelings and thoughts surrounding the death of my precious baby Julian. My twin pregnancy ended tragically with a catastrophic placental abruption. At 35 weeks my two sweet babies were born, and 36 hours later, one of my twin boys died in my arms. Now I have to figure out how life will continue with our surviving twin son and our 2 year old daughter.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Dwelling on the past kind of day

Today I just miss Julian. I feel in a slump. We are supposed to be going on vacation tomorrow and I can't gather the energy to get things packed. The last time we were at the cottage I was pregnant with twins. This year I will be returning with only one of my twin boys, and thinking about it is beyond sad. I am trying to be happy and I know I should be enjoying the two beautiful children playing right in front of me, but I can't get Julian out of my mind today. There are days I feel so happy and full of joy. And then, there are days like today, when all I can seem to do is think about the past and dwell on what should have been. I just miss my boy.

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1 comment:

  1. The KimmelsAugust 20, 2012 at 10:40 AM

    What a sweet picture of your little Julian. I also have days like you. I think raising a surviving twin is so unique in that we have a constant reminder. I so often look at Cohen and think of Carter and how they should be here together. It can be really, really hard. Hugs to you, hang in there.

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